Assessing Our Relationships

How minimalism can help us remove toxic people from our lives

Words by Shuba

Once I decided to approach everything in my life with the simple question Is this adding value?, I was able to get rid of many things that weren’t adding value or, worse, were sabotaging my life, including toxic people

Our lives, thoughts, and actions are greatly influenced by the kind of people we associate with. It is important that these people are authentic and do not negatively influence us. Here are some of the kinds of toxic people I distanced myself from.

Abusive People
It is no secret that verbally or physically abusive people are harmful for our very existence. If we constantly associate with people who put us down, at some point we may start to believe the negative things they say about us. These people are not good for our physical and mental well-being. I moved away from such people and made it difficult for them to reach or find me.

Jealous People
People who are jealous of us may goad us into doing things that are not best for us. They will speak sweetly to us and tell us things we want to hear but that are not necessarily best for us. Jealous people can hold us back from taking risks and from getting out of our comfort zone. Once I understood the motivations of those jealous of me, I stopped paying them heed and began acting according to my own convictions and dreams.

Gossipers
I realized that associating with people who speak negatively and gossip about other people only added drama to my life and occupied mind space that I couldn't afford to give up. I also realized that the same people could go around gossiping about me, and so it was best to distance myself from them.

Energy Vampires
These are the people who we are always saving, either from someone else or from themselves. If we constantly feel drained by speaking to someone, they are probably an energy vampire. These people do not have a handle on their lives. Of course, being a good friend involves occasionally helping someone who has a problem or giving advice in a tough situation. But once we begin noticing a pattern of certain people constantly draining us of our energy, it is best to avoid them. We only have limited energy, and we need to spend it wisely.

Controlling People
These are the people who will try to control others and always get their way. Any relationship should have a balance of give-and-take, and once we notice a pattern of control or manipulation in a relationship, it is best to let the relationship gracefully die.

Final Thoughts
If we value ourselves, our goals, and our time, we need to assess our relationships and associate with people who are authentic and wish us well. These people will inspire us, challenge us, give us constructive criticism, and most importantly, tell us the truth whether we like to hear it or not. Such people will bring positivity into our lives and help us grow into the person we want to be. We should seek out more of them and remove the others.

Shuba

Shuba is a blogger who writes about marketing, software products, business, and personal finance at Bazaar Expert. She’s interested in minimalism and is always looking to declutter her life.

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